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30 Mid-Life Crisis Moments to Make You Realize You’ve Hit 30

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Growing up we would hear that someone was thirty years old and we would think, “Geez, they are OLD!” There is something that happens when you hear “30.” It is no longer the roaring twenties that many experience. Thirties is filled with kids and car payments and mortgages and real jobs and actual adulting. It’s big choices and life altering decisions. It’s a complete seasonal change from your childhood. By 30 you are supposed to know who you are and what you’re doing.

And most of us do. Most of us have kids and cars and houses and real jobs. We look at our life on the outside and say, “Yep, this is how it’s supposed to be.” But then, when you’re standing on the inside looking around at all your stuff, watching your kids play, and eyeing that last piece of birthday cake…that’s when it really hits you- you’re actually in your thirties. 

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I don’t know about you guys but I don’t feel like I’m in my thirties. I have been married for ten years. I have been a mother for 7 years. Some days I think to myself, “It’s so weird that someone actually calls me their wife” or “I feel like someone should be picking up these kids any day now- it’s so weird that I’m ‘mom.'” I have started to realize that all those things that I thought I would never experience- watching what I eat so I don’t gain a ton of weight, not being able to do certain activities, or needing to actually take days to rest and recharge- are all coming to fruition.

I haven’t quite hit my mid-thirties yet, but I have come to realize that the past few years I have been in denial about this upcoming change in my life. Despite watching it fold out in front of me with my parents and other family members, I didn’t realize I was getting to that stage in my life where it’s actually…life.

Here is a list of things I have recently experienced that made me realize I am not as young as I feel:

  • I ordered a formal gown online. Apparently I am no longer an XS. Like, not even close.
  • I have to ice my legs after a workout.
  • I can’t, in fact, eat an entire pan of brownies with no repercussions.
  • My friends are starting to get sick.
  • My friend’s parents are starting to die.
  • I have looked at my nieces and thought, “I remember when you were *this* little,” and realized that my aunts have thought the same thing about me.
  • Having three drinks in one night results in Hangover-type hangover.
  • Going to bed at 10:30 PM is late.
  • Kids that I used to babysit are graduating college.
  • I stopped rolling my jean shorts and just wear them how they were meant to be worn- as mom jeans.
  • I buy my shoes for comfort level, not style.
  • I see a picture like this and just about have a heart attack when I realize people born in the 1990s are having children:

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  • Apparently the 1970s were not 30 years ago. They were 50 years ago. But that can’t be right. Where’s my calculator?
  • September 11th was almost 20 years ago (and it still catches my breath to see the footage).
  • My body will never be what it once was before. I am succumbed to the maintenance part of my life.
  • I am in a new weight class and I will probably never leave.
  • We have to think about where we live in the next 10 years because of our parents’ age.
  • I know the difference between cheap vodka and the real deal.
  • My idea of vacation is going any place other than a place with college-aged kids.
  • I’m not afraid to eat dinner at a restaurant by myself.
  • I can (and have) tweak my back taking out a car seat.
  • College-aged kids look like babies.
  • I have to start actually parenting. Not the “keep the fed, clean, and alive” stage of parenting, which is also hard. But the actual part of parenting where I am giving life advice, listening to genuine concerns, fumbling with how to know how to handle these situations, and holding myself back from wanting to go Mama Bear on a mean 8-year old girl.
  • I have a minivan.
  • I heard someone in their 20’s use a term and I had never heard it before.
  • I don’t know who any of the people are in the Red Carpet Celebrity photos.
  • All my favorite jams are on the “Oldies” and “Classic” stations.
  • Also, I still listen to the radio.
  • I have to Google acronyms used on social media.
  • I realized that I have a finite amount of years left. When you’re in your 20’s, you don’t really think about how many years until you will probably die. But when you hit your 30’s, and you start to think, “Oh my gosh, I might be halfway through my life already” you kind of start to panic.

Getting older is harder. You start to realize that life has boundaries. There are things that are inevitable, like using the same phrases with your kid’s that your mother used to use and you hated, no matter how hard you try. Your body stops working like it used to work. You have real responsibilities that call to you every day. It’s the life that is depicted on television or even right in front of you with family and friends, but for some reason it always seemed so far away. But now that you’ve hit your thirties, all those things are coming to light and there’s no one there to shut it off. You know, except your impending death. 

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As I finish writing this piece, I realized that this is what many people probably refer to as a mid-life crisis. So you can go ahead and add that onto my list.

Need some inspiration to help you stay on track with your diet that you now have to apparently do since your body stopped metabolizing food? Check out these 5 Healthy Alternatives to Your Favorite Unhealthy Snacks here on Daily Mom

The real dirty thirty

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I am a father of three and my wife is a registered nurse specialized in children.

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