{"id":53611,"date":"2019-01-25T05:01:25","date_gmt":"2019-01-25T05:01:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.babyhealthandcare.com\/marriage-tips-how-i-come-first-in-my-grooms-eyes\/"},"modified":"2019-01-25T05:01:25","modified_gmt":"2019-01-25T05:01:25","slug":"marriage-tips-how-i-come-first-in-my-grooms-eyes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.babyhealthandcare.com\/de\/marriage-tips-how-i-come-first-in-my-grooms-eyes\/","title":{"rendered":"Marriage Tips: How I Come First In My Groom’s Eyes"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"EBIKES\"<\/a><\/div>

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Marriage takes work. Daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly, loving someone exclusively, loving them when they hurt you, offend you, or when they bring you happiness and joy takes effort. It\u2019s all work, and for us it’s worth it. Our marriage, as his bride and he as my groom is worth it. To say it\u2019s been a cake walk would be a big fat joke to us both, it\u2019s definitely an ugly-cry laughter moment we\u2019d both have!<\/strong> <\/em>However, during our twenty plus years together, it\u2019s come down to four distinct ways that despite the \u201cwork\u201d in our marriage, I come first…as his bride, even when I didn\u2019t before. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Before the kids<\/span><\/h2>\n

Although my white chariot may be a 15-passenger van full of kids, my knight in shining armor at the wheel still picks ME first! Just think, I have so much on my plate. The kids, preparing and shopping for food, handling schedules, and running a business, but at the end of the day I’m lucky because my husband puts ME first. As a woman – no matter all the background noise that\u2019s going on, I <\/span>need <\/span><\/i>him to have my back, to stand by my side, and to support me. That\u2019s when he displays his love and puts ME first. Our children\u2019s needs are already met…their <\/strong><\/em><\/span>wants can wait when it comes to his bride. <\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

\"I There\u2019s nothing sexier than when your man stands with your decisions <\/span>in front <\/span><\/i>of the kids (so they clearly see) backing your every move. This also applies when he <\/span>doesn\u2019t <\/span><\/i>agree with me. That is something we discuss in private because i<\/strong>n front of the kids, he puts me first. <\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>

\"USA<\/a><\/div>
\"USA<\/a><\/div>\n

Listening before Solving<\/span><\/h2>\n

Do you know how annoying it is to express your feelings about something that frustrates you or life itself is just annoying and your man interrupts and starts spouting off solutions? Or when you just want to share your feelings and he throws around his authority and wisdom (that sometimes sounds like criticism) as soon as you pause for a breath?<\/span><\/p>\n

That\u2019s how we used <\/strong><\/em>to communicate, then I said something magical one day.<\/strong><\/em> I didn\u2019t even realize that it was the key to what I needed from him. This fairy dust of realization…these simple words and my groom put ME first.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\"I<\/p>\n

\n

\u201cThere\u2019s nothing to solve, honey, I just need you to listen\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

That was literally it. Setting up the moment before I began talking to my husband using that phrase, is all I needed to come <\/span>first <\/span><\/i>instead of him waiting to pounce on a take-a-breath moment to give his two cents. If truth be told, he sometimes has to say the same to me. After all, I am a professional coach who tends to want to solve his problems too!<\/span><\/p>\n

Serving Me Anyway<\/span><\/h2>\n
\n

\u201cHow was your day?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Jeff: \u201cLong, I\u2019m beat. Are the kids ready to go?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Despite his exhaustion, Jeff offers to serve me anyway by taking the kids to their Tae Kwon Do class. Despite knowing that I\u2019m fully capable, he offers to serve me and do the task <\/span>anyway <\/span><\/i>because he knows I\u2019ve had a long day too (even if I\u2019ve just been at home). <\/span><\/p>\n

When I asked why one day because it had started suddenly and had increased over time, he simply said, \u201c<\/span>I just need to do more for you. Yeah, I\u2019m tired, and\u2026?\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Even before some of his own needs, he puts me first. *Swoon*<\/span><\/p>\n

Knows and Shows My LL<\/span><\/h2>\n

If all my husband did was buy me gifts and presents, I\u2019d be on the brink of being chronically depressed with him. He may think he\u2019s showering me with love and adoration, however, according to Gary Chapman\u2019s Love Languages(R), that is <\/strong><\/em><\/span>not <\/strong><\/em>one of mine.<\/strong><\/em> As a matter of fact, it\u2019s so low on my love-language totem pole, I\u2019d find it repeatedly insulting that he would keep giving me gifts if he saw that I wasn\u2019t <\/span>happy<\/span><\/i> with them. <\/span><\/p>\n

But, that\u2019s not him. He doesn\u2019t try to <\/span>guess <\/span><\/i>my unique love-style and what I need…instead he <\/span>listened. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Remember that magical phrase preceding our conversation of how I just want to convey my feelings? Now that he <\/span>listens<\/span><\/i>, he\u2019s receptive and he <\/span>knows<\/span><\/i> what I desire most. <\/span><\/p>\n

\"IHe <\/span>knows and shows <\/span><\/i>me love exactly how I need it. There\u2019s a profound depth of respect, adoration, and intimacy that goes into someone intentionally loving you on purpose.<\/strong> <\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\n

It\u2019s work. Not only do you have each other to grow with through trials and triumphs, but to also add children to the mix? That\u2019s <\/span>work. <\/span><\/i>We have nine blessed children with us, not between us, under us, or ruling us…they are with us. <\/strong><\/em>Yes, we may be married for over twenty years, but that doesn\u2019t mean I don\u2019t see him as my groom, the man I want to stay married to every single day. And as his bride (as he so greets me every day), he\u2019s sure to keep our love alive by lovingly <\/span>working <\/span><\/i>at it, making it a priority to put me first. All of that makes for one crazy-happy wife and I too will work for that.
<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Photo Credits: AndiL<\/small><\/p>\n

\"how<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Marriage takes work. Daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly, loving someone exclusively, loving them when they hurt you, offend you, or when they bring you happiness and joy takes effort. It\u2019s all work, and for us it’s worth it. Our marriage, as his bride and he as my groom is worth it. To say it\u2019s been …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":53613,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"_crdt_document":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-53611","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nMarriage Tips: How I Come First In My Groom's Eyes - Baby Heath and Care Advice and Tips<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.babyhealthandcare.com\/de\/marriage-tips-how-i-come-first-in-my-grooms-eyes\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"de_DE\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Marriage Tips: How I Come First In My Groom's Eyes - Baby Heath and Care Advice and Tips\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Marriage takes work. 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