{"id":55339,"date":"2020-04-15T21:36:45","date_gmt":"2020-04-15T21:36:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.babyhealthandcare.com\/psa-parents-of-toddlers-age-three-is-way-harder-than-the-terrible-twos\/"},"modified":"2020-04-15T21:36:45","modified_gmt":"2020-04-15T21:36:45","slug":"psa-parents-of-toddlers-age-three-is-way-harder-than-the-terrible-twos","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.babyhealthandcare.com\/de\/psa-parents-of-toddlers-age-three-is-way-harder-than-the-terrible-twos\/","title":{"rendered":"PSA, parents of toddlers: age three is way harder than the terrible twos"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"EBIKES\"<\/a><\/div>
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If you’re already dealing with a tantrum-prone two-year-old, I’m sorry to tell you that having a threenager is even harder.<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

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I\u2019ve always thought that while most new parents find mommy-and-me meetups when they have newborns, it\u2019s parents of \u201cthreenagers\u201d who truly need a support group. Each day is like being on a wildly awful and delightful rollercoaster as your child cycles through deep and intense mood swings<\/strong>, creating emotional whiplash for us poor, exhausted parents just attempting to hang on.<\/p>

\"USA<\/a><\/div>
\"USA<\/a><\/div>\n

We didn\u2019t experience the terrible twos with either of our daughters (true story). Both of them were cute and pleasant at two; they were mobile and happy, and certainly more baby than toddler. I would laugh over-confidently, proud that my daughters were just cruising through toddlerhood.<\/p>\n

But the next stage caught us off guard, especially with our youngest daughter. Perhaps it\u2019s because we\u2019ve been home with her 24\/7 during this COVID-19 quarantine. We\u2019ve been thrown by the very-high highs and lowest lows. As soon as we blew out the candles on her third birthday cake, a dark cloud began to hang over her head. One minute our adorable child was sunny and sweet; the next, yelling, crying or refusing to put on socks<\/strong>. I\u2019ve been told I\u2019m the best mommy \u201cin the whole entire universe-world\u201d and I\u2019ve been rebuked at 7:35 in the morning by a groggy toddler-monster in her dark cave, yelling \u201cDON\u2019T COME IN MY ROOM!\u201d There have been the adorable face grabs of \u201cMommy, you\u2019re so cute!\u201d while smooshing my cheeks with her tiny hands. She would love preschool one day and hate it the next, staging silent protests on the sidewalk. She\u2019d sit down in the middle of the grocery store aisle. (Remember bringing your kids to the grocery store?) In one memorably epic Target tantrum, pre-lockdown, she was writhing on the floor, sending boxes of Hello Kitty Band-aids, tampons and make-up remover pads flying, as my oldest, then six, scurried around to pick up the debris.<\/p>\n

I think you\u2019re getting the picture. Many times it was a missed nap. Sometimes it was an overdue snack. But often, there was no rhyme or reason to the wild pendulum swings. This is why, after doing it twice, I\u2019ll tell you that parenting a three-year-old child is not for the faint of heart. It\u2019s mentally and emotionally challenging, and it will rattle even the calmest of parents.<\/p>\n

Why is age three so turbulent? Sometimes called the \u201cmagic years,\u201d three year olds are filled with wonder, independence and many (many!) questions<\/strong>. These little ones are developing their language, memory and imagination, and it\u2019s a time of discovery, as parents begin to see their kid\u2019s personality shine. It\u2019s also a time when both kids and parents struggle with unpredictability, expectations and boundary setting, particularly in uncertain situations.<\/p>\n

My parenting bible through this threenager stage has been No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline Without Shame<\/em> by Janet Lansbury, arguably today\u2019s most popular parenting guru when it comes to dealing with tricky toddlers. I keep Lansbury\u2019s books by my bedside and her podcast \u201cUnruffled\u201d on my iPhone.<\/p>\n

Lansbury teaches that respectful parenting is not passive parenting. In a chapter of the same name, Lansbury uses words like \u201cunruffled,\u201d \u201ccalm\u201d and \u201cmatter of fact\u201d to help parents recognize that intense responses to their kids\u2019 developmentally appropriate behaviour often backfires. She preaches the importance of clear expectations for three year olds who crave routine<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

\u201cOur children need to know that their parents and caregivers are not thrown by their minor misdeeds, so that they can rest assured that they are well taken care of and not more powerful than the leaders they depend on,\u201d she writes. A three-year-old kid simply wants to feel safe, even in the midst of boundary-testing. We have to keep calm and stand outside the situation, she urges, as even a meltdown can be healing for toddlers\u2014they\u2019re just getting all the big emotions out.<\/p>\n

Lansbury suggests imagining you\u2019re donning a superhero cape in those moments\u2014one that makes you a capable and confident parent who can see that these epic tantrums and unreasonable demands are actually milestones. In the midst of our current ongoing coronavirus situation, I don\u2019t quite have my own cape, but I\u2019ve seen myself become less reactionary and more attuned to her emotions. The key to healthy and effective discipline is actually an adjustment to my<\/em> attitude and outlook\u2014not hers.<\/p>\n

One easy-to execute solution for us has been to announce, well in advance, changes or transitions in the schedule. For example, it\u2019s been helpful to tell the kids that we\u2019ll be coming inside for lunch, and then we repeat the same announcement every few minutes, so there\u2019s no confusion or surprises. It\u2019s also helped to acknowledge and empathize with her big feelings<\/strong>. I often ask my preschooler, \u201cAre you feeling sad about this?\u201d and I\u2019m always surprised how these insightful questions can disarm anger and lead us into calmer spaces.<\/p>\n

The best advice I\u2019ve ever received about parenting, at any stage, is that it\u2019s all temporary. Yup, three year olds can turn on a dime, but it\u2019s an in-between stage. They\u2019re big, but still little. This time around, I\u2019m trying to not get bogged down into problem-solving, approaching situations with more awareness, and realizing it\u2019s not my \u201cjob\u201d to do something about everything. Sometimes enduring it\u2014changing the subject, redirecting their behaviour, or even simply waiting it out\u2014is the best thing you can do.<\/p>\n

After the Target tantrum, once I finally got my screaming, kicking child strapped in her car seat, I shut the door and looked around the parking lot. I was frazzled, sure, but I didn\u2019t get caught in it. It\u2019s often my reaction to her that makes it worse, so I tuned out my daughter. I noticed the striking quiet of the underground lot. I heard the beep of another car\u2019s lock system. I took three long, cleansing breaths and regained my composure.<\/p>\n

This is our last trip through this tricky terrain of volatile threenagers<\/strong>, so I\u2019m trying to savour it\u2014even when it\u2019s really hard. Isn\u2019t that the push-pull of parenting? To want the hard things to go away faster, while simultaneously not wanting each stage to end?<\/p>\n

To make it through<\/strong> this unprecedented time together, we have to give each other\u2014kids and parents alike\u2014more grace, and some space (despite the close quarters). Even stuck under lockdown, I\u2019m learning to enjoy the gifts of toddlerhood and to go with the flow.<\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If you’re already dealing with a tantrum-prone two-year-old, I’m sorry to tell you that having a threenager is even harder. I\u2019ve always thought that while most new parents find mommy-and-me meetups when they have newborns, it\u2019s parents of \u201cthreenagers\u201d who truly need a support group. Each day is like being on a wildly awful and …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":55340,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[82,83,80,86,91,98,90,84,89,97,88,92,96,81,95,93,100,87,99,94,85,149,1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-55339","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-babies-and-toddlers","category-baby-bedding","category-baby-care","category-baby-feeding","category-baby-food","category-baby-nursery","category-baby-products","category-baby-sleeping","category-baby-teething","category-babysitting","category-breastfeeding","category-child-abuse","category-child-behavior","category-child-development","category-child-discipline","category-child-safety","category-homeschooling","category-kids-health","category-kindergarten","category-parenting","category-potty-training","category-priority","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nPSA, parents of toddlers: age three is way harder than the terrible twos - Baby Heath and Care Advice and Tips<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/www.babyhealthandcare.com\/psa-parents-of-toddlers-age-three-is-way-harder-than-the-terrible-twos\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"de_DE\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"PSA, parents of toddlers: age three is way harder than the terrible twos - Baby Heath and Care Advice and Tips\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"If you’re already dealing with a tantrum-prone two-year-old, I’m sorry to tell you that having a threenager is even harder. 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