{"id":56481,"date":"2021-04-01T04:03:54","date_gmt":"2021-04-01T04:03:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.babyhealthandcare.com\/5-things-to-understand-about-toddlers-before-you-try-to-tame-their-tantrums\/"},"modified":"2021-04-01T04:03:54","modified_gmt":"2021-04-01T04:03:54","slug":"5-things-to-understand-about-toddlers-before-you-try-to-tame-their-tantrums","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.babyhealthandcare.com\/de\/5-things-to-understand-about-toddlers-before-you-try-to-tame-their-tantrums\/","title":{"rendered":"5 things to understand about toddlers before you try to tame their tantrums"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"al2fb_like_button\"><div id=\"fb-root\"><\/div><script type=\"text\/javascript\">\n(function(d, s, id) {\n  var js, fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0];\n  if (d.getElementById(id)) return;\n  js = d.createElement(s); js.id = id;\n  js.src = \"\/\/connect.facebook.net\/en_US\/all.js#xfbml=1&appId=292312517979383\";\n  fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs);\n}(document, \"script\", \"facebook-jssdk\"));\n<\/script>\n<fb:like href=\"https:\/\/www.babyhealthandcare.com\/de\/5-things-to-understand-about-toddlers-before-you-try-to-tame-their-tantrums\/\" send=\"true\" layout=\"standard\" show_faces=\"true\" share=\"true\" width=\"200\" action=\"recommend\" font=\"arial\" colorscheme=\"light\" ref=\"AL2FB\"><\/fb:like><\/div><div id=\"babyh-2263700433\" class=\"babyh-topleft babyh-entity-placement\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.interserver.net\/r\/411851\" aria-label=\"EBIKES\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.babyhealthandcare.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/EBIKES.webp\" alt=\"EBIKES\"  srcset=\"https:\/\/www.babyhealthandcare.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/EBIKES.webp 748w, https:\/\/www.babyhealthandcare.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/EBIKES-300x201.webp 300w, https:\/\/www.babyhealthandcare.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/EBIKES-110x75.webp 110w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 748px) 100vw, 748px\" width=\"500\" height=\"100\"  style=\"display: inline-block;\" \/><\/a><\/div><div><\/div>\n<div>\n<p>Ignoring these aspects of toddlerhood can lead to frustration\u2014for both you and your little one.<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<div>\n<p><span>My 2\u00bd-year-old daughter, Zoe, is putting on her shoes. She proudly shows me her handiwork. \u201cNice job, Zoe,\u201d I say. \u201cJust let me switch them.\u201d I pull on a Velcro strap. Zoe jerks her foot away and glares at me: \u201cShoes stay, Mommy.\u201d I persist. \u201cBad Mommy. No.\u201d Tears fall as she scoots away from me. I pick her up and put her in the wagon, mismatched shoes and all. As we head toward the park, I wonder: Should I have insisted? Should I have done something about<\/span> <b>the \u201cBad Mommy\u201d comment<\/b><span>? Should I have cancelled our excursion?<\/span><\/p><div id=\"babyh-2864359857\" class=\"babyh-test-placement-from-wizard-678377226 babyh-entity-placement\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.interserver.net\/r\/411851\" aria-label=\"USA NUTRITION IMPROVEMENTS\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.babyhealthandcare.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/pexels-rodnae-productions-8523136-scaled.jpg\" alt=\"USA NUTRITION IMPROVEMENTS\"  srcset=\"https:\/\/www.babyhealthandcare.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/pexels-rodnae-productions-8523136-scaled.jpg 1800w, https:\/\/www.babyhealthandcare.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/pexels-rodnae-productions-8523136-scaled-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.babyhealthandcare.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/pexels-rodnae-productions-8523136-scaled-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.babyhealthandcare.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/pexels-rodnae-productions-8523136-scaled-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.babyhealthandcare.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/pexels-rodnae-productions-8523136-scaled-800x533.jpg 800w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1800px) 100vw, 1800px\"   \/><\/a><\/div><div id=\"babyh-3306988222\" class=\"babyh-test-placement-from-wizard-3612799500 babyh-entity-placement\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.interserver.net\/r\/411851\" aria-label=\"USA NUTRITION IMPROVEMENTS\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.babyhealthandcare.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/pexels-rodnae-productions-8523136-scaled.jpg\" alt=\"USA NUTRITION IMPROVEMENTS\"  srcset=\"https:\/\/www.babyhealthandcare.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/pexels-rodnae-productions-8523136-scaled.jpg 1800w, https:\/\/www.babyhealthandcare.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/pexels-rodnae-productions-8523136-scaled-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.babyhealthandcare.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/pexels-rodnae-productions-8523136-scaled-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.babyhealthandcare.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/pexels-rodnae-productions-8523136-scaled-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.babyhealthandcare.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/pexels-rodnae-productions-8523136-scaled-800x533.jpg 800w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1800px) 100vw, 1800px\"   \/><\/a><\/div>\n<p><span>Turns out I walked right into a typical toddler scenario pretty much guaranteed to end in conflict. Zoe was trying to assert her new-found independence, showing me her new skill. I not only minimized her accomplishment, I started undoing her hard work without explaining, at her level, why the shoes needed to be switched. She did what toddlers do when they get frustrated: Lash out and cry.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span>\u201cParents need to understand that children are built to explore and experiment. And some of that behaviour parents may call misbehaviour. They are trying to be independent, but they don\u2019t have the skills and get frustrated,\u201d says Linda Gilbert, the manager of training, youth and family development at the YMCA of Greater Toronto. She adds that the focus at this age should be on <strong>managing behaviour<\/strong>, not discipline as such.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span>Denise Marshall, an early childhood educator at the University of Northern British Columbia Childcare Society in Prince George, BC, agrees: \u201cWhat is \u2018bad\u2019 behaviour anyway? A child\u2019s definition and a parent\u2019s view are often very different: You tell your child to put a toy away. He doesn\u2019t. You <strong>see it as defiance<\/strong>. He simply doesn\u2019t want to stop playing.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span>All our experts agree that children will \u201cmisbehave\u201d when our expectations are beyond their abilities. For example, it\u2019s not realistic to expect a toddler to follow a string of instructions, or to remember a rule after being told only once.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span>Gilbert explains, \u201cYou have to keep language basic. There\u2019s so much happening in their brains. It\u2019s necessary to repeat yourself, otherwise it will get forgotten.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span>To keep expectations realistic, it\u2019s helpful to understand the developmental aspects that affect toddler behaviour:<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><b>Social skills<\/b><\/h2>\n<p><span>At <\/span>18 months<span>, toddlers are just starting to be interested in interacting with other kids, playing <\/span><i><span>with<\/span><\/i><span> them rather than side by side. But the rules of social play are not instinctive\u2014kids need to be taught about taking turns and being gentle. In fact, aggressive behaviour,<\/span> <b>such as biting<\/b><span>, is normal, says Gail Szautner, chairperson of the Saskatchewan Early Childhood Association and executive director of Children\u2019s Choice Child Development Programs in Prince Albert, Sask. \u201cIt\u2019s developmental. It\u2019s how they react.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span>Also normal is the reluctance to share. \u201cDevelopmentally, they are just not ready for dealing with only one truck or always taking turns,\u201d says Connie Delorey-McGowan, executive director and owner of Cobequid Children\u2019s Centre in Lower Sackville, NS.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><b>Self-control<\/b><\/h2>\n<p><span>A lot of the defiance that we attribute to toddler behaviour stems from their limited ability to control their impulses. Your daughter may know that<\/span> <b>chucking food off the high chair<\/b><span> is a no-no, but try as she might, the urge to see her mac and cheese go splat on the floor can be overwhelming.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span>On the other hand, when a toddler\u2019s impulses and desires are frustrated, the reaction can be intense. (And there is so much frustration in a toddler\u2019s world: from the noodle that won\u2019t stay on the spoon to the grown-up who doesn\u2019t understand what she\u2019s trying to say.) It\u2019s very difficult for her to rein in her anger and resist the urge to hit, throw or have a tantrum.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><b>Emotional regulation<\/b><\/h2>\n<p><span>Toddlers have a hard time understanding their emotions, let alone controlling them. And they don\u2019t have the perspective or experience to realize that the deep sadness they feel over a broken cookie will soon pass. \u201cToddlers need help to identify and cope with their feelings,\u201d says Delorey-McGowan. Along with your own reassuring cuddles, it can be helpful to introduce self-soothing techniques, such as hugging a favourite toy, sipping water or breathing deeply.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><b>Empathy<\/b><\/h2>\n<p><span>\u201cToddlers have a budding awareness of others, but are self-centred,\u201d says Delorey-McGowan. It\u2019s for this reason that they struggle with empathy\u2014they don\u2019t understand that others react negatively to pain or frustration. This also explains why a toddler may react inappropriately to another child\u2019s emotions, like laughing when a playmate pinches his hand in the toy chest.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><b>Comprehension<\/b><\/h2>\n<p><span>How can a child follow instructions if he doesn\u2019t understand what\u2019s being asked of him? Language and attention skills are just developing in toddlerhood, so it\u2019s important not to overestimate what kids can comprehend\u2014that will just lead to frustration on both sides. Says Marshall: \u201cChildren can often understand what parents are asking, but it\u2019s hard to follow directions the way we want them to. Adults need to guide them.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span>Even if your child <\/span><i><span>can<\/span><\/i><span> understand what you\u2019re saying, he may not be paying attention. \u201cI don\u2019t know any child who listens all the time. You have to get on their level and make eye contact,\u201d says Delorey-McGowan.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\"><i>This article was originally published online in 2008.<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span class=\"ctx-article-root\"><\/span><\/p><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Ignoring these aspects of toddlerhood can lead to frustration\u2014for both you and your little one. My 2\u00bd-year-old daughter, Zoe, is putting on her shoes. She proudly shows me her handiwork. \u201cNice job, Zoe,\u201d I say. \u201cJust let me switch them.\u201d I pull on a Velcro strap. Zoe jerks her foot away and glares at me: &hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":56482,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[82,83,80,86,91,98,90,84,89,97,88,92,96,81,95,93,100,87,99,94,85,149,1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-56481","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-babies-and-toddlers","category-baby-bedding","category-baby-care","category-baby-feeding","category-baby-food","category-baby-nursery","category-baby-products","category-baby-sleeping","category-baby-teething","category-babysitting","category-breastfeeding","category-child-abuse","category-child-behavior","category-child-development","category-child-discipline","category-child-safety","category-homeschooling","category-kids-health","category-kindergarten","category-parenting","category-potty-training","category-priority","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>5 things to understand about toddlers before you try to tame their tantrums - Baby Health and Care Advice and Tips<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/www.babyhealthandcare.com\/5-things-to-understand-about-toddlers-before-you-try-to-tame-their-tantrums\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"de_DE\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"5 things to understand about toddlers before you try to tame their tantrums - Baby Health and Care Advice and Tips\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Ignoring these aspects of toddlerhood can lead to frustration\u2014for both you and your little one. 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My 2\u00bd-year-old daughter, Zoe, is putting on her shoes. She proudly shows me her handiwork. \u201cNice job, Zoe,\u201d I say. \u201cJust let me switch them.\u201d I pull on a Velcro strap. 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