{"id":6205,"date":"2018-09-29T08:39:15","date_gmt":"2018-09-29T08:39:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.babyhealthandcare.com\/what-to-do-when-your-toddler-starts-hitting-herself\/"},"modified":"2018-09-29T08:39:15","modified_gmt":"2018-09-29T08:39:15","slug":"what-to-do-when-your-toddler-starts-hitting-herself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.babyhealthandcare.com\/de\/what-to-do-when-your-toddler-starts-hitting-herself\/","title":{"rendered":"What to do when your toddler starts hitting herself"},"content":{"rendered":"
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One night before dinner,  Sarah Campbell* asked her two-year-old, Scott, to wash his hands<\/strong>. \u201cHe looked at me and, with an open hand, smacked his head,\u201d she remembers. In the following weeks, Campbell noticed Scott was also striking himself when he was embarrassed. \u201cWhen I picked him up early from daycare one afternoon, he got all shy and self-conscious and hit himself. The other kids thought it was funny, so he continued doing it,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n

Alanna Norman, an early childhood educator in Ottawa, had a two-year-old student who showed similar behaviours in class if things didn\u2019t go his way. \u201cHe\u2019d stop what he was doing, hit his head with his hands or sometimes even smack his head or body into a wall,\u201d she says.<\/p>

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Though it may be alarming to parents, this behaviour is pretty common\u2014about a quarter of toddlers will hit themselves in the face or head with some regularity, says Kiran Pure, a registered clinical child psychologist in Halifax. \u201cHead banging often starts after about six months of age and peaks at 18 to 24 months,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n

Why do they do it? All behaviour is communicating<\/strong> something, says Alexandra Carter, a child psychologist in Port Moody, BC. So your child is likely frustrated or looking for attention. The banging or hitting may even be self-stimulatory\u2014meaning it feels good and is meeting a sensory need. If the root cause isn\u2019t obvious, Carter says families should spend a week recording observations. Look for patterns: Does it happen at a certain time of day? During a particular task? After a specific type of event? In a certain setting? Recording these details can help determine the context of the behaviour and what\u2019s causing it.<\/p>\n

Many kids who hit themselves are experiencing strong emotions they can\u2019t express verbally. \u201cThe words related to the child\u2019s feelings may not yet be in their lexicon,\u201d Pure says. The best approach, he says, is to help your child label their emotions<\/strong>. Try saying, \u201cyou look angry\u201d or \u201cyou seem sad,\u201d and work on teaching them some positive coping strategies.<\/p>\n

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When the kid in her class starts getting physical, Norman cushions his head and then slowly helps him lie down. \u201cWe do breathing techniques. Then, when he is calm, we talk through the problem and provide him with the words and tools to use next time,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n

If there\u2019s a clear trigger, Carter recommends modifying your kid\u2019s environment or schedule to make it less likely for the behaviour to occur. For example, if your child hits their head when it\u2019s time to turn off the TV<\/strong> and eat dinner, they may not manage transitions well. In this case, you could try creating a visual schedule to prepare for change, and use the countdown method. If your child seems to be in genuine distress, hold them, say something calming, give them an object they find comforting and remove nearby objects that can cause harm, advises Carter.<\/p>\n

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\n<\/span>Toddlers may also hit themselves when they\u2019re in pain, say, from teething<\/strong> or an ear infection. \u201cThis may be to create a distraction from the physical feeling,\u201d says Pure. If kids can\u2019t say what hurts, the banging may also be a way of communicating their pain to caregivers. Look for other symptoms\u2014drooling, red cheeks and nighttime waking are signs of teething, while a fever, discomfort lying down and ear tugging could indicate an ear infection.<\/p>\n

Some toddlers develop the habit of rocking and banging their head rhythmically while trying to fall asleep. \u201cThe rhythmic motion can result in soothing, similar to being in a rocking chair,\u201d Pure says. Most kids grow out of this, but in the meantime, implement some safety and noise-control measures. If your kid is still sleeping in a crib, check regularly for unsecured nuts and bolts, as the rocking could loosen them. You can also hang fabric on the wall to dampen the banging or move the crib or bed away from the wall altogether.<\/p>\n

While head banging is not necessarily something to worry about, Carter says that it can, in some cases, be a sign of an underlying neurodevelopmental disorder, such as autism spectrum disorder<\/strong> or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. \u201cIf your child is showing other symptoms, such as delayed language development, hand flapping or reduced interest in engagement with parents or peers, it\u2019s a good idea to see a paediatrician,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n

If your toddler seems to be doing it for the shock value\u2014perhaps you catch them smiling as they notice your and their peers\u2019 reactions\u2014it\u2019s best to actively ignore these behaviours, which is what worked for Campbell after about a week. As long as they\u2019re not causing major harm, disengage and don\u2019t plead or negotiate. \u201cRemember that attention is like a big happy-face sticker,\u201d says Carter. \u201cIf you ignore it, it will eventually decrease.\u201d<\/p>\n

*Names have been changed<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more:
Why your toddler\u2019s \u201cno!\u201d phase is so important (and how to survive it)
How to handle your toddler\u2019s \u201ccarry me\u201d phase
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